| Last show, April 27 2013 – Derby – Louisville, KY |
It keeps creeping into my mind. I keep pushing it out. Oh, and then it sneaks right back…the itch to compete. But, why? I certainly don’t look forward to stage – I can’t pose, don’t like people looking at me, and I shake. Plus, you have to do it twice between pre-judging and finals! So that cannot be it. I do not miss measuring my food – sure now I measure oats, but that is so I don’t put too much water in and make a soupy mess. I really enjoy my fro yo, my drinks out, and well, honestly just being able to eat when I want, when I want, and not thinking I am “messing” up. Maybe I miss being pinched? Hmmm…anxiety, calipers, disappointment – nope, not it. I do not want to know my body fat percentage. Maybe it’s the tan – stinky cold spray, strangers spraying me naked in a tent, standing for hours to dry, looking orange for days. Heck no, that is not it.
So I have ruled out the actual stage, the diet, the body fat measurement, and the tan. This leaves the workouts which are no tougher then mine right now, the friends, who I talk to now but remain in much closer contact with as we train for shows together, and the goal. That’s it. It’s the goal. Glad I could talk this out. I need a goal. Judge as you will, I need a goal. It has to be defined and measurable and have many checkpoints along the way. Sure I am boxing now and enjoying new challenges, lifting heavier and sprinting far on the stairmill. But it is not the same.
Oh conundrum. To train again or not train again for stage, not life. It’s been just over 3 months since my last show – is it too soon to ramp up again, do I need some more “down” time, am I ready to give up some parts of life to gain others? Oh the questions. And there are no easy answers. These past few months have flown by, yet crawled in many aspects as well.
I am left where I started – with an itch and an unknown. But what I love about the competition world, is there is always another show around the corner. I know my friends will be here now or later if I train, that my body is healthy and strong and ready for what I decide to do, and that I have support from everyone important to me in my life to either train or not to train. I feel so healthy, happy, and balanced right now, am I ready? Time will tell. I’m practicing patience and well this is just another opportunity to be patient – for that moment when I don’t waiver back and forth, but for when I say –
I’m ready. Then I will know it’s time to pull out that food scale and get to work.
KATIE CRAIG
Katie lives in Columbus, enjoying a career with Nationwide Insurance as an IT Education Coordinator. She worked in the Cincinnati gym industry for several years before moving back to her hometown of Columbus. There she gained an appreciation for clean eating and dynamic workouts. Upon turning 30, Katie decided she wanted to take it to the next level and train for the stage. It’s been an experience of a lifetime and she loves trying new recipes, gaining muscle and accomplishing personal bests in the gym. Seeing others mimic some of her healthy choices, well that’s just icing on the cake, UMP cake that is.
